Hello, my name is Mia and...I have a potty mouth. *Hangs head in shame* Not super filthy or anything—not like a sewer overflowing with F-bombs at every turn—but still, not as sparkling white and minty fresh as I would like it to be.
You know, I never realized how much profanity I use on a daily basis until I started editing the first 200 pages of
my young adult novel DE and found the following swear words: HELL (12), DAMN/DAMNED (8), ASS (6), SHIT (5), PISSED OFF (3), BITCH (2) but absolutely no F-BOMBs. Although there are quite a few EFFs, FREAKs, FRIGGINs, and even one FRACK—thank you,
Battlestar Galactica!
Honestly, looking at these tallies shocks me. Mainly because my mother raised me to: (1) speak and act like a lady, (2) explore the English language by familiarizing myself with a dictionary and thesaurus, thus being able to articulate more witty and creative insults. (You know, the kind of insults where people are so confused by your choice of words that they're not even sure they're being insulted?
Troglodyte and
homunculus are two of my personal favorites.) So to have my characters hurl such common and unoriginal swear words like this is shameful. At least, to me it is. There's no excuse for that kind of lazy writing, particularly in young adult fiction.
*Shakeshead* Oh well, time to clean up my potty mouth. Or are my characters the ones with the potty mouths? Given they all reside in my head, but with vastly different personalities than my own, I guess the question of who's speaking for whom is really up to debate... As well as my sanity. (Or, lack thereof.)
TO SWEAR OR NOT TO SWEAR?
So what's the big deal anyway? I know there are plenty of YA series being published that are chock full of "bad words". Many have an expletive (or two, or even three) on every page. The authors of these novels say that they're just trying to create realistic dialog between characters that today's teens can relate to. Maybe that's true, but is it really necessary?
No, it's not, and I wouldn't recommend using it often—especially if you're an aspiring author who has yet to be published. Why?
Sales. Yes, sales. For your publisher, or potential publisher, it's all about cost versus dividends. Their investment [in you] versus consumption [consumers buying your book], and how they can maximize your "brand" [their product] for the highest possible profit. Publishing is a business, after all—one of the biggest businesses in the entire world—and it has been around for a long, long time.
So the question of using profanity (and other adult content like graphic violence and sexuality) in young adult fiction really comes down to how many people will buy your book. Let's explore three or four possible scenarios...
Parents Hate Profanity
Tweens and teenagers primarily get their money from their parents or guardians, many of whom screen works of YA fiction by reading them prior to allowing their children to read them. If a parent reads your novel and decides it has too much profanity, violence, or graphic sexual content in it, they will return it. Not only will they return it, they will pass on their negative reviews to others.
Sales rise and fall on public opinion. If the backlash is too severe, your publisher may decide it would be in their best interest to shelf your next project and/or completely release you from your contract with them. This is the literary equivalent of being fired. Try finding another publishing deal with a reputable publishing house after that. I guarantee it won't be easy.
You have to remember that book publishing is about making money first. Mostly off of hardbound and special or "limited" editions. For you it may be about "the art of writing", but for your publisher it's all about the bottom line. If they invest in you and can't make money off of you, they will simply cut their losses and drop you like a bad habit.
It is a rare publishing house these days that will stick with a new author with poor sales because they believe in his/her creative vision. Don't make the mistake of thinking you'll be immune to this because you fancy yourself the next
J.K. Rowling,
Stephenie Meyer, or
Neil Gaiman. Only your readers can decide that for you and readers are notoriously picky. Why risk turning them off by using too much profanity or adult content?
Getting Blacklisted by Book Buyers
Another sales source that most aspiring authors never think about are book buyers. Book buyers buy books for major bookstore and superstore chains like
Amazon.com,
Barnes & Noble,
Blackwell's,
Books-A-Million,
Powell's,
Target, and
Walmart. These buyers usually select stock from a database that has detailed information on each book. This database includes adult content warnings and, sometimes, even advanced reader reviews...and believe me buyers take notice of too many bad reviews!
Unless the author is well known and already established, young adult books that are too risqué tend to get black listed. Not because the buyers necessarily disagree with your work, but because their job is to buy books that will sell and they do this by picking authors and series that appeal to the majority.
**NOTE: The majority of people reading young adult fiction today just so happens to be women—moms, grandmas, sisters, aunts, cousins godmothers, best friends, teachers, etc.
Not-So-Liberal Libraries
The same goes for librarians... I can't tell you how crucial libraries are for authors!
Don't make the mistake of dismissing your local library simply because they loan out books to others for free. There are many frugal readers, concerned parents, and loving friends or family members who borrow books from the library first to see if they're worth the cover price. If they like what they see, they may just buy your novel in hardcover as a gift for all the teens in their social circle. And that could lead to an avalanche of sales as the holiday season picks up and good cheer spreads. See? Nothing beats word-of-mouth for publicity!
Do you really want to risk getting blacklisted and denying yourself all those sales just so your characters can cuss like juvenile delinquents? (Even if they
are juvenile delinquents.) Or is there something to be said for exercising a little bit of restraint in exchange for more royalties?
Foreign Rights Firewall
We haven't even addressed the international publishing community yet. Although, I don't think you need me to explain how much easier it will be for you to sell the foreign distribution rights of your work if you don't have a blacklist cloud hanging over your head that will make it nearly impossible to breach the foreign firewall.
That is unless you don't want to see your novel translated into other languages like Arabic, Chinese, Czech, French, German, Greek, Hebrew, Korean, Japanese, Romanian, Russian, Spanish, Swahili, and even Ukrainian? (Just to name a few.) And I believe that you do. Any writer in his or her right mind would.
Needless to say other countries have different ideas of free speech and what is acceptable to mainstream based on local religious, moral, and ethical standards. You don't need to research and memorize them all to know that profane language is typically looked down on and frowned upon. It's one of the few universal cultural constants.
THE CUSS WORD CHEAT SHEET
Now that we've explored why you shouldn't let your characters cuss, the question becomes: what mild expletives and/or minced oaths can you use? Which are acceptable in today's youth market?
Here's a quick cheat sheet I made to help me the next time my young adult characters feel the need to swear →
