Thursday, November 29, 2012

It's Been Awhile...

Bless me, Blogger, for I have sinned—it's been two months since my last real blog post. TWO. WHOLE. MONTHS.

I know, I know... I'm a wretched woman. I should be tarred and feathered and left outside the main office at KFC HQ with a little sign that says,"Extra Crispy, Please" hanging from my neck... (And now I've got a hankering for fried chicken... LOL)

But seriously, I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately. I've been kind of depressed...


Happy for the many blessings in my life but sad at the same time, and thoroughly tired of all the BS and heartache.

The people who know me best know that I'm normally a happy, chatty person... unless something's really bothering me. Then I clam up. It's rare, but it happens. I pull away or push loved ones away when I'm upset, not because they make me feel weak but because I need to conserve my strength. I need my space to deal with whatever issues I'm struggling with mentally in order to recharge my spirit and be ready to battle the world again. I am a very strong person inside and it usually takes a LOT to get to me, but I'm only human and sometimes even I chip and crack under pressure. Like now...

Ironically, I welcome times like this as much as I dread them because they give me the chance to evaluate my life: how far I've come, where I want to go, who I want to be involved with, and what I want to become... That's what I'm doing right now. That's why I'm so quiet.

Don't worry, I'm just building a better me.

And now I'm going to go listen to "It's Been Awhile" by Staind (one of my fave songs to brood to) on repeat and sulk like the moodiest, most melancholy vampire... ;)

XOXO

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